GrimmFon Drabble Collection
by SuppaOtaku
Summary: GrimmFon drabbles, really AU. Will never end, until my ideas just stop running. R&R dude, would be great.
1. I

_**A/N:** Heeeey, these are just a buncha drabbles; __I think that whenever I have an idea I'll just drabble it right here. So it'll never be finished._

_**Title:**__ GrimmFon Drabbles_

_**Rating**: Click back and read._

_**Summary:** There isn't one..._

_**Pairing(s):** GrimmFon, YoruHara, OCxOC some UlquiHime (Will be explained) and of course some good ol' StaMeno. And Minor IchiRuki._

_**Warnings:** This story is really AU. __In this story Grimmjow and Soi Fon have a son, he's name is: Daisuke. You'll find out more about him when you read. Ulquiora and Orihime have one son and one daughter: Sora and Rei ^^ Well for the minor IchiRuki: they have a son: Kaien._

"I don't own bleach." Talking

_I honestly don't._ Thinking/Flashback

**"****What would make you think I do ?"** Stressed words

Alrighty then let's start!

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><p><strong><em>Auntie Yoruichi<em>**

It was a misty winter morning when 25 months old Daisuke Jaegerjaquez was playing with a blue yarn in the living room, allowing himself to get caught up in it, like a little cat. His 'auntie' Yoruichi was watching him carefully while smiling at herself. After he was trying to wiggle his way out of the tangled yarn.

"Lemme help you with that." Yoruichi kneeled down beside him, trying to find the difference between his hair and the yarn, she pulled loose strings of yarn out of his electric blue hair.

"Aunie Yichi." he babbled while sucking his thumb.

"Yes Suke-chan?" she pulled the last blue string out from under his foot, allowing him to move freely.

"I wuf you!" he screamed out, hugging his aunt. "I love you too." she laughed as he pulled her dark purple hair, trying to put some of it in his mouth.

"I really do."

**_Just like Daddy_**

"Dora!" an infant screeched happily while pointing at the screen, trying to get his mother's attention. His mother lifted him up from his sitting position on the ground and gave him a kiss on his forehead.

"Yes, I know it's Dora." she smiled at her son "Daddy can talk Spanish too, just like Dora."

She put him in his walking chair. "Mommy'll be back, I just have to get you a new-" she paused to look around her, the item she needed seemed to be upstairs. "diaper."

Just when she was about to call him, her boyfriend came downstairs. "Oh good, I have to get some clothes upstairs, can you watch Suke for a minute?"

"Why?" he complained.

"Do_ you_ want to clean his diaper?"

_Silence._

"I didn't think so either."

Walking past him, she patted him on the back. "You'll be fine, just don't let him get near anything he's not supposed to."

With a 'whatever' and a growl Grimmjow entered the living room, to see his son biting on a spoon he probably picked up from the table. "I think I'll confiscate that." He took the over the spoon from his boy and placed it back on the table. After not much of a 'clink' of the spoon hitting the glass table a loud scream escaped Daisuke's throat.

"What the fuck is this kid doin'?"

Angrily stomping his feet, pushing himself forward by throwing his small body to any direction and floundering his feet, he tried to move to the table attempting to get his spoon back.

Shaolin came _just_ in time, soothing the situation by picking him up shushing the infant. She threw the small pile of clothes to Grimmjow.

"What did you do to him?"

"Nothin'!" he exclaimed defensively. "He's just impossible that's all." he said nonchalantly.

Soi Fong huffed at him. "Wonder where he got that from." she questioned sarcastically.

"Not from me."

"I'm pretty sure that if you weren't as impossible as you are, we wouldn't even _have_ Daisuke."

He furrowed his brows, "What's that supposed to mean?"

she frowned and smiled mockingly. She took the white spoon from the table and gave it to the child in her arm whom swayed it around happily. "You _never_ stop until you have something you want." she gave the young child a kiss. "And you do too."

"Just like daddy."

**_Slingshot_**

Five-year old Daisuke was having a great morning, he wore a big smile on his face he wore almost everyday. He was supposed to ask his father if he knew where his other shoe was before he's leave for school, but he found something far more interesting.

When he entered his parents' bedroom, he was looking for his shoe in one of the drawers, bet then he found _slingshots_, or something that.

"Daddy!"

Grimmjow faced his son like he did every morning, but there was something different about his face.

"What's it now?"

He held the white slingshot in front of him.

"What's this?"

Grimmjow's expression changed from normal, to amused, very amused. But then a bit worried, and confused. "That belongs to your mom," he chuckled "put it back before she sees you with it."

Daisuke still wasn't pleased "But what_ is_ it?"

"I'm not gon' tell you that," he paused "_yet._"

"Can I take it with me to school? I think Sora and Kaien would wanna see it."

"I- You- Well, son.." he started, he tried to explain what would happen if his mom would catch him, but he gave up halfway "You know what, go ahead and have a good time."

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><p><em><strong>AN:** What did you think? Would like to hear it. R&R KTHXBAI_


	2. Love

_Moar Drabbles I came up with yesterday. OMG! 3_

_Clara (CuhLaRah) and Kyo are Grimmy's parents ^^_

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><p><strong><em>Hitting girls<em>**

It was a cold morning in Karakura town, the mist was just clearing a bit and the streets were as quiet as ever. Young Daisuke was preparing himself to go outside to school together with his mother. Partly asleep, he crawled out of his bed. He lifted his shirt to take it off, when his mother noticed a red mark on his back.

"Daisuke, what is that?"

He turned around, and looked at his mom, whom was obviously concerned.

"What is what?"

She turned him around again and traced the red mark with her index finger. "This." she said as she traced the outline.

"Yesterday Rei was really mad at me, and then she threw something at me."

Soi Fon frowned, "And what did_ you_ do?"

"Nothing." he shrugged, and turned around again, just to face his mom.

"Why not?"

"Because daddy told me that; no matter what I do or how angry I am, I can**_ never_** hit a girl."

**_Fighting_**

The angry and almost fuming mother entered the livingroom with a deep frown and a frightened blue-headed child clinging to her arm. This meant no good, any idiot could see that.

The other residents -Grimmjow- were having a hard time figuring out what it was that pissed her off like this.

"Yo, what is it that makes you angry today?"

Shaolin gritted her teeth, this was serious.

"Today, I had to go to school to pick up your son because he was fighting. He's just six years old, why would you let him?"

"Well, I don't see any problems?"

"He has a black eye."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do it how could I be so foolish?"

_If he didn't father my child...Only if he didn't father my child.._

"Just talk to him, make sure it doesn't happen again since you encouraged him to."

The young boy let go of his mother, as soon as she left the room his father started to speak.

"Did you win?"

"Yes." he answered, shivering with fear. Covering his eye.

"Good, let's get some ice-cream."

**_Babies_**

"Mommy?"

Shaolin lowered the book she was reading. "What is it?" she asked, looking into her son's grey-blue eyes, glimmering with curiousity.

"Where do babies come from?"

"Go ask your dad."

**_Spanish_**

"Hey dad," by the mention of his 'name' Grimmjow looked at his ten-year old son. "Mom told me you can talk Spanish."

"I can, not fluently, but I can."

"Did you learn it in school?"

"No, I learned it from my mother."

"Gran'ma Clara is Spanish?"

"Yeah, she was born in Spain."

"Where were you born?"

"Here, in Japan."

"Gran'pa too?"

"Yes, gran'pa too."

"That's cool!" he exclaimed happily. "Do you think you can teach me how to talk Spanish one day?"

"Sure, you know where to find me."

_**Temptation**_

It was moring and a duo of men were waiting hungerly for the female to get up and make them breakfast.

"Where is mom?" the youngest whined.

"She's still sleepin'."

"I'm not waking her up." Daisuke declared.

"I'm not either, I value my life."

"Let's try makin' it on our own."

Grimmjow turned his head, was this kid being serious? Grimmjow was _**not**_ going to cook, that was not his job.

"Yeah, no."

"We are gonna starve waitin' for mom!" he exclaimed angrily.

"Ya have a point, let's try."

Soi Fon heard all the commotion downstairs and it was disturbing her sleep. So she decided to get up and see what was going on. The noise seemed to be coming from the kitchen.

"What is OH MY GOD!" one look at the kitchen kicked the sleep out of her eyes. Her son was lying on the floor with a can laying next to his head, dough in his hair and dried yolk on his face. Her boyfriend was trying to keep the fridge from falling down and he had a hard time doing it.

She rushed to help him, pushing it back in place. With a frown and a twitching left eye, she took place at the table, which was also covered in dried yolk and flour.

"Daisuke!"

The young boy shot up, placing his plat hand horizontally on his forehead. "Present." dough leaked out of his hair onto his hand.

"Listen good, you two are going to clean this up. Then you are going to clean yourself up."

"Will do mom." he assured wit guilt. "I'm sorry."

"Whatever." a masculine voice replied nonchalantly.

"Hey! You disturbed my sleep, ruined my kitchen and you're not even sorry."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do it, how could I be so foolish?"

"You can forget about me helping any of you today." she hissed angrily.

"But I said I was sorry mom!"

"Don't care, you're going to do everything on your own today."

"But -"

"No, Daisuke you have to understand. Were are Jaegerjaquez males. We don't say sorry, admit we are wrong or give into temptation. People say sorry to _us_, we hear people admit to _us_ that we are right and we tempt." Grimmjow explained as the smartass he is.

"Oh, I get it. So we just skip breakfast and lunch and dinner..." his voice saddened with every word spoken.

"If we have to, yes. Because that makes us _men_!"

Shaolin interrupted his 'oh so manly' speech. "Yes, and today you won't get any _female_ for a week if you don't do as I say."

His face grimaced. He held her hand and gave it a soft kiss "I am very sorry, I was wrong and I'll _never_ do it again."

"That's what I like to hear."

"Dad! You just broke every rule."

"I don' care about that right now, you'll understand when you're older."

Daisuke huffed when his mother gave him a cloth. "Grown-ups are stupid."


	3. This

**_Manners_**

Noodles are tasty, everyone knows that. But eating then is a different, slurping is part of it, but the way this father and son ate it, was just ridiculous.

Soi Fon sat straight, feet under the table in the lotus postion. Her boyfriend on the other hand, was lounging on his side, on the couch spilling soup and bits of ramen on it . And her son was following his example, well for manners that is.

Both of the blue-haired men's eyes were fixated on the television, wich showed 'the game' they were so anxious about all week.

"Sit straight Suke, you'll spill all your soup."

He ignored her, "Hey, I'm talking to you." he ignored her once more, which triggered her anger. She stood in front of the television, blocking their view.

"Soi, you know I_ love_ lookin' at your bod, but I'm kinda watchin' the game now."

"I will move if you two _stop_ littering the couch."

They sat straight from their lounging position "I'm sorry, I'm not gonna do it anymore, will you please move now?" the youngest asked lazily.

She moved two inches, their eyes fixated on the screen once more.

"SCORE!" the two bowls of ramen spilled on te floor, they didn't seem to care at all.

"No manners at all," she smiled to herself. _Those are my boys._

_**Mai Waifu**_

A trio of drunken men were singing a song untill one of them tapped the other on the shoulder. "Hey, Glimmjow! How's ya waif?" he yelled with an unnecessarly loud voice.

"Dude, Di Roy. I'm not married." he staded nonchalantly.

"So what are ya then?" Yylfordt asked him. Poking his glass of sake.

"I dunno, I just love'r." A loud sound of 'aww' rang his ears.

"She's a total bitch!" Di Roy suddenly yelled.

"I don' care y'know. She's Mai Waifu. An' nobody fucks wit Mai Waifu!"

"Are ya serious man, what happened to ya?" Yylfordt broke in again.

"I gotta kid now, an' Mai Waifu is still as hot as ever." he grinned.

"True dat." Di Roy muttered.

"Hey," Grimmjow warned, "Don' push yer luck."

**_The LeBron James Technique_ **

"Dad!" a young boy screetched in fear. "Mom...window..soccer..broke...I." he breathed out.

"Ah, how's this my problem?"

"I..can tell mom about the microwave."

Grimmjow gave in. "Blackmailing your dad, that's my boy." he stated proudly.

He sat his son down, "Basin' at how fast ya came runnin' in," Grimmjow calculated in his head "we have about twenty to fourty seconds before she finds ya."

His son quivered in fear. "But don' worry. I'm gonna teach you somethin' my father thought me when I was young; the LeBron James technique."

"What's that?"

"Your ticket out of hell."

Just as his father predicted, his mother came bursting into the room. Luckily, he managed to explain the infamous technique to his child.

"Daisuke," her voice was low. "come to mommy." His father pushed him forward, mouthing him 'you can do it' to encourage him.

"Why did you run away from me?"

"Well, mom what should I do?" he asked, he mother stared at him in confusion.

"What?"

"What should I do? Should I admit I made a mistake?" he asked her again.

"Should I say I've done this before?" he asked dramatically, leaving his mother with more confusion.

"Should I **not** listen to my conscious? It's my_ conscious_ mom!"

"Daisuke what are you-"

"What should I do? Tell me mom!"

She widened her eyes, "I'm going to make myself some tea, you want some?" she said with confusion.

"Yes, thanks mom." the father-son duo watched Soi Fon leave for the kitchen. "Dad, you are a genius."

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><p><em><strong>AN:** Hope you liked R&R for a next chapter._


	4. Pairing

_**A/N:** I am really lame, but I love it._

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><p><strong><em>Babies<em>**

"Daddy, where do babies come from?"

"Hell." Grimmjow simply replied.

**_Listening_**

"Dad, mom said your not supposed to use that much force."

He was pretty sure that the TV was broken by now. If it received one more blow, it would probably explode.

"Seriously, you have to listen."

Grimmjow frowned, "Your mom also told me to use a condom, and did I listen?"

**_Omaeda_**

Whirling in an office chair is the best thing to do if you're bored. But laughing out loud while doing it, at your mom's office isn't that smart. Making a lot of noise while whirling around, Daisuke was having the best time, until _that_ man came again.

"Listen you lil' brat! I told you over a hundred times to stop doing that."

Daisuke raised his head to see the plump man wearing a rather angry expression.

"Who're you?"

His expression changed, "That's none of your business, dwarf. Why're you here anyway?"

"Na-ah, you have ta answer my question first!" the younger male stated, to which the older man growled.

"I'm Omaeda Marechiyo, now you."

Daisuke straightend his back. "My name is Jaegerjaquez Daisuke," he stated proudly. "I'm waitin' for my mom."

Marechiyo studied him, blue hair, blue-gray eyes and a tan. "So you're the boss' kid? You don't really look like her."

Daisuke scratched his neck, "I know, I look like my dad." Now it was his turn to study Omeada. "Why's your belly so big?"

"Hey! Didn't your mother ever teach you to be more polite?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Why are _you_ so big?"

Mayechiyo scoffed. "It's normal for men my age to be like this, not that you would know spoiled lil' brat."

"I bet my daddy is just as old as you are," he pointed accusingly at the men standing before him. "but he's got muscles. And he doesn't walk like a penguin does."

The plump man gritted his teeth ad balled his fist "Why you little," in attempt to snap the little boy's neck he tried to grab him by the hand, and he succeeded. "Lemme go!" He tried to snatch his hand away, but failed seeing the other man was stronger.

And as another day, mommy comes just in time. "Omaeda what the hell do _you_ think you're doing?" her voice was dangerously low.

"I'm sorry," her turned his attention back to his boss. "but this little brat."

"If you value your ability to use your limbs, I suggest you let go of my **_brat_**."

"I'm sorry boss, so very sorry." He walked off as fast as he could. "Mom, I hate him."

"Me too Suke, me too."

**_Love Note_**

"The fuck's that?"

"It's a note, we're supposed to write one for Valentines Day and give it to the person we 'love'."

"An who're you gonna give it to?"

The young boy blushed with embarrassment "Rei.."

"Great, I hope it works." he encouraged. "I was just as old as you when I met your mom...good times."

"Thanks dad, what are you gonna give mom?"

"Same thing as last year son."

He furrowed his brows, "And what would that be?"

"You don't wanna know." he grinned.

Somewhat disturbed he replied fast, "I think I'm gonna sleep at Kaien's house this year."

"Nah, you don't have to, just get some sleeping pills and earplugs, you'll be fine."

**_Kids_**

"Hey Grimm," Soi Fon called out to man in front of her. "I want to have another kid, what do you think?"

"I would_ love_ to help ya make one," he shook his head "But takin' care of him is gonna be difficult."

"Him, who says it going to be a boy?" she rubbed her flat stomach "Maybe _I_ want a girl this time."

"No girls, I can't handle two of you."

She groaned at his reply. "You know what," she stood up from her seat at the table, "Daisuke!"

A young replica of his father hopped downstairs within a matter of seconds, his face was covered in splats green paint. But his mother decided not tho ask anything.

"Do you want another brother or sister?"

"Yeah! I wan' a little brother."

She could feel Grimmjow smiling.

"Are you sure, don't you want a nice little sister."

"No, Sora never has any fun with Rei, I want to have fun with my little brother when I have one." the young boy smiled, "Are you gonna buy me a little brother?"

"No," she sighed "just drop it."

She turned around and re-took her seat at the table "Our relationship can't handle another one."


	5. With

_**A/N:** :D_

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><p><strong><em>Uncle Kisuke<em>**

Kisuke Urahara, was a smart rather handsome young man. He called him uncle, reckon he was having a relationship with the one he called 'Auntie Yoruichi' ever since he could speak. That man was about the same age as his mother, though didn't really look like it. . . But that's not the point now, the point _is_ that man was about to change history. Yeah, history. He would now to the stupidest thing anyone could ever think of. It was evil, it was genius, it would surely get the blunet young man into trouble. But goddamned it was worth it.

"Give that to your mom," he said, he gave the boy a small square green candle. It was wrapped in plastic and covered with a bow. "now when she puts in on make sure you're not in the house. . . Or in a room that's ventilated well." he nodded and did what he was told. He knew this candle was out of the ordinary, no it was not your everyday candle. It was a candle Kisuke made himself, out of one hundred gram of weed. And he made it in such a way it would get one high without the tallow taking away the effect. It took him months to do so, and the prototype had to be used bu someone he would never give it to himself.

And Soi Fong was the best to do that for him, see if it would actually work . . . Yep, so much trouble for a little bit for history.

But it was worth it.

**_Panther._**

A relaxed day at the zoo, at least that's what it was supposed to be. Being dragged along all day and having to look at stupid animals all day isn;t that relaxed. And smelling them was worse, especially if your sense of smell is developed really well. Sucks to be a father huh? "B-Big c-c-cats." Daisuke stuttered. The boy was just starting to learn how to read and his mother thought he did good.

"Hey look, it says 'Panther'." the huge black cat behind bars was moping around, stopping at some points and then continued his activities of whatever it that captivated cats do.

"He looks like daddy." Grimmjow couldn't believe what he was hearing from his son, this little dolt was really saying he saw a resemblance between him and a fucking cat at the zoo. . . Well, it was a panther not a cat, but that wasn't important at the moment. "No, it doesn't." he defended with a monotone voice.

"Yeah it does! It's kinda like Auntie Yoruichi's cat's dad."

"Ha," Shaolin smiled, "I see the resemblance."

"Why do ya always fuck me over like this?"

"Aww, sorry little kitty." she pouted with a little voice as she patted his head mockingly, "when we get home you can show you're a real panther okay?"

"Rawr."

_**Bubble Gum**_

With a large comb and shampoo he got outta nowhere, Grimmjow interrupted Shaolin's reading time. She sighed when she saw him with the two items, "You go run the water, I'll be back with a scissor." Daisuki was not allowed to have bubble gum again, and yet his stupid father always gave it to the infant. "It's your fault by the way," how would a child come up with that, Just spit it in someone's hair? It had to be his father's side. It just had to be.

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><p><em><strong>AN:** That weed candle it smells like poo, my bro has one. Though I not sure how it works or if it's really a candle or just weed in a cylinder. Weed is legal in my country. Cool right?_


	6. My

_**A/N:** :D_

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><p><strong><em>You <em>are_ the father!_**

"These people are truly pathetic." Shaolin's eyes were fixated on the television screen, an American television show was playing. It was called; _'The Maury Povich show'_ and it was mostly revolving around pregnant teenage girls whom didn't know which one of the -usually- two men the possible father was of their children.

It was very disturbing, fake and also oddly entertaining at the same time.

A deep recognizing voice interrupted her, "Whatcha watchin'?"

"An American television program." the old man in the chair had the envelope unfolded in his hand. He was about to announce if the man was her father or not, when Grimmjow proceeded to annoy her.

"Why, the kid's in school an' we could be doin' _**way**_ more interestin' stuff."

He rubbed his head against her leg as she lay in a lounging position, she didn't really grant him any attention as she was watching.

"I knew he wasn't the father." she cheered softly, it was only a matter of knowledge. She could hear the blunet's soft purring as her rubbed his face against the crook of her neck like a little cat. Much like her son did when he was younger, they even looked the same when they did it. With messy short blue hair tickling against her skin and eyes closed happily. "I'm pretty sure he **_is_ **the father of my child."

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><p><em><strong>AN:** I **needed** to write this._


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